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My Problem With Mentors

I have an issue with mentors. Dont get me wrong, I seek counsel on a regular basis…but more often than not it leads me nowhere. Wisdom these days sometimes seems to be replaced by heartless judgements and more “Ive been there too“‘s and less being in the moment with the younger generations. Mind you, I do not have any qualms with one sharing their similar experiences, HOWEVER there is a thin line between empathy and straight superciliousness with blatant disregard for human feelings.

I am currently 25, and ALL of my mentors are older than me. I love them with every fiber of my being, but there are some who offer words of wisdom that seemingly do more to harm than heal. I feel that one of the most important aspects of wisdom that older individuals can utilize is not trying to solve my problems all the time, but by simply being there in the moment WITH me.

Many elders I consulted for wisdom have frequently wrote my problem off as miniscule due to my age. I take issue with this. I understand I am still young with my life ahead of me (if I dont happen to die of other causes).

When I am experiencing hardship, at this time it was a very difficult time for me and it can be significantly damaging to me if you write me off because of my age. Although in perspective, I understand why my problems were written off, I must say that it is very insensitive to show insensitivity towards the young due to their age.

A damaged psyche is a dangerous thing to ward off as youthful. In an age where suicide and mental illness is spiraling out of control, my 25 year old problems SHOULD be taken seriously. They may be obsolete and miniscule when I am older. But I need RIGHT NOW guidance. Not “when I get to be your age” guidance. I need the present. That is all that exists to me at the moment. I need guidance from someone who is fully present.

I know it will get better. Im young, but ive also lived long enough to recognize this. But that advice, to me is a copout. It gives the mentor an excuse to remain unattached to my situation….when sometimes what I need is someone as fully attached as I am.

I read alot of classic literature. Elders are so different now than they were in the past. We are more detached than ever from our struggling brothers and sisters. We are so guarded. And in return the fallen mortal who is our brother and sister remains fallen without a crutch. It is written that I am supposed to seek counsel, but how can I do so when most of the counsel I seek seems to be cliched superficiality?

Ive been going through alot lately…and after seeking countless guidance, I can honestly say that after seeking the guidance of at least 15-20 people, there were only a couple individuals I really felt were fully there with me. Ironically they were not older. Okay, maybe two were a little older. It makes me wonder how different people’s responses would be if they recognized that even tomorrow is not promised to me.

The young are human beings first and foremost and should be addressed as such. They are not exempt from hurt and hardship. It is also a mistake to assume time is on their side. Young people die each and every day to various causes. Death has no age limit and does not discriminate.

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